27

Driving gives me time to collect all my thoughts. You would have never have guessed how much you can think about in a span of three hours. When the only thing you have to stimulate your mind is the passing of cars and the same songs I've heard numorous times. It makes me think that there is so much more I want to do with my life. I'm done coasting. I want to do something! I just wish I was at a place in my life right now for it. I'm there mentally, just not finanacially. I get a good chunk of money when I turn 25 from my father's death. I'm just afraid I would have already missed my chance. Maybe I can convince my mother to take our road trip we've always dreamed of. It was so funny when I told her about my friend Ed and his father going on their road trip she became so jealous. Haha. We'll get our turn, Mama. I think it would be so good for my mother. She needs to be free of her burdens. I do not want her turning out like her mother. It makes me so mad just thinking about that. 

I've been super stressed about the wedding. I think I'm mostly stressed thinking about money. I feel guilty for spending that much money on our wedding. Especially, since Michael doesn't even want to have a ceremony and reception with everyone right now. He said it would be too much stress for us right now. I hate it when he's right :/